The Complexities of MCS Or Why I Couldn’t Get a Good Nights Sleep
By Cort Johnson
I have both
CFS and
MCS. I’ve had
CFS for 25 years and MCS for about 10. My MCS is pretty severe and has kept me
from working for almost five years now.
My latest
misadventure with
MCS
begin in November as we (my sister’s family and I) prepared to leave San Diego
for a Thanksgiving/Xmas celebration in
Las Vegas
with my father. I had been trying to get out of
San Diego
for five months now but a mysterious problem with my car that often left me ill
when I drove it had kept me stuck there.
First some
background. My car, my only really substantial possession ($3500!), has played a
key role in my health for several years now. It was only 3 years ago that I
found a car I could sleep in. This car, a regular cab Toyota pickup, was hardly
comfortable given my height (6’6”) but I was able to curl up in it and sleep at
night. Being able to sleep in it is important because in the winter I
stay at my sister’s house in Southern California and housing construction of one
type or another over the past two years has made it mostly impossible for me to
sleep at the house or on the grounds. Either I have to sleep in the car or on
the hillside on a little preserve adjacent to the house. The hillside is mostly
fine during the summer but when it rains I have a bad reaction probably because
of the mold in the ground and try to stay away from it. Because my site is
almost visible from the street there is no place to pitch a tent (a tarp
actually) so when it rains I have to simply lay the tarp over me – not a optimal
situation given my sensitivities. If it really rains hard the ground will get
wet enough that even with the tarp under me I have trouble staying dry and have
to lug huge amounts of wet linen (since I can’t tolerate sleeping bags) up and
down off the hillside – an arduous procedure. In short living on the hillside
in the winter is a mess; it’s exhausting, I get sick often, my sensitivities
flare up....its basically on the top of my list of things to avoid.
Unfortunately the pickup I could sleep in burned up in the desert a year and a
half ago and I had to get another car. This time I wanted a car I could easily
sleep in and in lieu of a full-sized van, which is what I really wanted but
which the price of gas prohibited, I got a Nissan Quest Minivan. After tearing
virtually everything out of it that I could – the seats, carpeting, side panels,
the tar insulation on the floor, etc. - I was able to tolerate driving the car
but for some reason still wasn’t able to sleep in it. Doing so would cause me to
groggily wake early in the morning with a strange taste in my mouth and a
headache. Because of this I spent the last winter I spent on the hill or, when
I could, I escaped to the desert when the storms came.
Upon
returning to
San Diego
from Las Vegas in July to complete my bankruptcy and get some dental work done I
started getting sick in the car. Over several months various mechanics found
several problems including some small leaks in the exhaust system and in the
fuel lines leading to the gas tank. The last fix, which had come just days
before we planned to leave had actually seemed to make me worse but upon looking
under the car I found the mechanics had left a fuel line unattached (!). I fixed
it and resolved to leave the next day.
This
decision had some interesting consequences though. About 9 months earlier my
sister had put in a new driveway, walkway and patio. Even though I’d gotten to
San Diego three months after that I’d had a terrible time with the fumes
escaping from the concrete and even now, 9 months later, I still wasn’t close to
being able to sleep near the house. Since I couldn’t drive, let alone sleep in
the car without problems I was back out on the hill but I wasn’t near my
sister’s house, I was about a ¼ of a mile away. My sister had unfortunately
bought a house about half a block away from and above a golf course. Since the
prevailing winds generally blew from coast away from the golf course the
fertilizers were generally not a problem but if it was foggy or if the winds
blew from the east I got hammered when I slept on the hill. We had frequently
experienced both those situations this summer and I had moved to another part of
the hill. The problem was getting to it; because the only place flat enough for
me to get in there was at a busy, illuminated intersection, I had to drag my
stuff in there either very late at night or very early in the morning. The
morning I decided to leave I awoke before dawn and carried my stuff out.
That next
day, however, I had a terrible time in the van and decided I couldn’t make it to
Vegas. That night I brought my linen back up to the hill. The next morning,
however, I felt much better driving the car and decided, on the spur of the
moment, to attempt to make the trip, and so I left, most of my linen still on
the hill....
I started my
trip in an apt fashion. Feeling rather anxious – I had not driven the car for
more than a half-hour in almost 5 months – for the first time in memory I pulled
the gas hose from the tank before it was done sending gas cascading over the
car. After a break to let the fumes dissipate I was back on the road. I was
okay for the first 45 minutes, felt sick at about an hour, was okay at 2 hours
and was nauseous but happy as I settled into camp after about three hours.
Bad Night #1 –I
wrapped myself up in what linen I had then rolled myself up in a tarp and
settled down for a cold and restless night. I was happy, although I had gotten
sick the car, I thought, was fixed and my long ordeal with it was over.
Bad Night #2 -
Upon
starting out the next day the nausea quickly returned, however, and remained
present throughout most of the rest of the trip. No the car was not fixed, it
was better but still not fixed.
Because my
father, like my sister, has made the very bad choice of situating his house near
a golf course, I have never been able to tolerate spending the night there and
always head out to one of two spots. The one closer to the house is out in the
pristine desert but I’ve had troubles sleeping there possibly because of a mine
nearby. The further one has been used by several generations of Las Vegans as a
dumping site, shooting range and off-road vehicle course but I’ve always done
fine there.
I found some
linen at the house, bought some more from the thrift store and headed out to the
closer more pristine site. I did okay the first night but woke up after the
second exhausted with itchy eyes and difficulty taking deep breaths. That day
and the families big get together passed in something of a haze. Unfortunately
the get together culminated in a dinner in a carpeted room. After about 15
minutes in the room I could the fog settle into my brain; I began having trouble
speaking – after starting my sentences I couldn’t get to the end of them and
wandered about flailing for words, I had trouble concentrating on what others
were saying, my jokes fell flat, sometimes it seemed I was speaking too loudly,
other times it seemed like everybody else was too loud. In short I felt awkward
and out of place and ended up struggling through yet another difficult family
get-together. These get-togethers in my earlier years with CFS sometimes left me
near tears with frustration at my mental slowness and awkward behavior. By now
my expectations were lowered – something to try and forget and move on.
Bad Night #3 -
I headed out
to my good site - the beaten up dumping grounds for Las Vegans but had another
bad night. After 10 or so hours in the car my clothes had become saturated with
whatever bothered me in the car – another entirely foreseeable problem. As I
settled into bed my breathing became tight and constricted as the ‘poison’ began
seeping into my body.
Bad Night #4 -
The next
day, spying my cargo carrier in the garage, I put everything in that and on top
of the car….and had ANOTHER bad night. Yet again I had made another stupid
mistake. During the six months the cargo bag had sat in the garage next to the
car and my father’s painting area it had slowly absorbed all the fumes and odors
in the garage. The short 25 minute trip in the carrier was all that was needed
to contaminate everything in it. I knew better than that!
Bad Nights #5 and 6 -
The next day
the weather suddenly turned shockingly cold with a vicious wind blowing out of
the north. Still lacking in linen I was in no way prepared for a night like
that. With the heat turned off I spent the night in the house sleeping fairly
well but emerging groggy and wiped out the next day. The next night was even
colder but the wind was down and finding more linen I spent the night outside of
the house. This seemed to go okay but after two days sleeping at the house I was
exhausted and more importantly my sensitivities has risen greatly. It didn’t
help that every heating system in the city had jacked up its heating systems
permeating them with what was for me, rather toxic product, natural gas. This
time, however, fortified with even more linen, I made it out to the desert where
I spent a cold but mostly satisfactory night.
Bad Night #7 –
Theoretically things should have been fine – I was in a good spot, my linen was
clean and I was now pretty warm but 5 months away from the desert had rendered
me somewhat stupid. Since I got MCS I have become intensely sensitive to
aromatic plants. I can’t spend much time around the eucalyptus trees that dot
Southern California, the pine trees in the mountains or the sage brush in the
upper desert. I can’t spend more than a day in the mountains or upper desert.
Most of the aromatic plants in the lower desert are problems only when it rains
but creosote, the main shrub in the southwest is at least mildly aromatic all
year long. Although camping near dense stands of creosote has given me
headaches and left me exhausted in the past this is just what I did. I camped
in a dip (which limited air circulation) containing a moderately dense stand of
creosote. The first night was okay but the second left me nauseous and out of it
all day long.
Bad Night #7 –
After that
the trouble seemed to be over. What else could go wrong? I was in a good
location with clean linen – I’d basically worked out all the kinks and was
finally settled in – I thought. About a week later, however, I made yet another
mistake involving my linen. Not wanting to leave my linen in the desert for
fear of theft, nor wanting to leave it in the car for long because of the
mysterious fumes, I had been driving it to my fathers house and leaving it
there. That had worked fine until the golf course or an adjoining yard or
somewhere was apparently fertilized. I could feel it when I drove in that day
and I knew I risked contaminating it but I still dropped off the linen at the
house – it was either that or leave it in the car. The first night was okay but
the second time I did this I had another restless night that left me short of
breath and tasting fertilizer for half the next day. Now the linen is staying
hidden away in the desert hidden - safe at last!
This was a
rather unusual series of events in itself but times like this, when I get
slammed from one side or another by one unforeseen event after another happens
fairly frequently. Life with MCS requires a great deal of attention and
scrutiny; it is nothing if not complex.